Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
