In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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