I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
