fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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