he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Found the puke drawer
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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