how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
