I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
