Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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