Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
