sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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