i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
