I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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