so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
we're so committed to being not committed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
