Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize