Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
