the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
