She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
