come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
