As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
