I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
How external is "for external use only"?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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