Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
