All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
