Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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