idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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