i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
