Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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