so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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