You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
