never play flip cup with pint glasses
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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