You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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