I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
