How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
