what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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