better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
