Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
