At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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