Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
