My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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