i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
