im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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