She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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