dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
