It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
