im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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