The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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