i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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