you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
