Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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