I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
