he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
