it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
