i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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