don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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