I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dignity is for republicans.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
