cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
