Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
