I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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