Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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