spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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