Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
