This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
