There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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