Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
