ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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