did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
