do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
