omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
