Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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