so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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