I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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