i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
