its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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