Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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