on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
