i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
