I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
