Jerry, you need to find god
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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