I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
