Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize